Days of Summer, my lovely season, the season of long days and late sunsets. July passed in a blink and now August. I see myself as a moody person, while Summer keeps me in high spirits. Yet, I am still not pretty sure that is the weather affecting the mood or the mood affecting our perception of the surrounding parameters, like the weather.
Beats me, questions without answers, like most of the things in life. Anyways.
Talking about life, today is my middle sister birthday. I was seven when she was born. I was so ready and thrilled to have a sibling especially a sister. I was super happy when we brought her home and the process of choosing her name, that is what I remember and after that? Strangely enough, I don't have a vivid memory about what happened next! How I was dealing with her? whether or not I was playing with her, having a good time with the baby? Some times I feel shameful, it is like I was occupied with my own life, going to school, having routines, or maybe I WAS around her and just don't recall. I prefer to believe the latter.
However, I can recall better the time she was a bit older like 5,6, first years of school. I wish I had been a better company for her, like she was for our youngest sister, playing with her and entertaining her all the time. I have not been good at getting along with kids, lack of patience that is required, but in my dreams when I can let myself to be a better version of me, I am playing and talking with kids, with my sisters when they were little, for hours, discovering their world, making them laugh.
For her as an adult, my performance has been a bit better I guess. Talking to her, being on her side going through stages of life, traveling with her, dancing, crying, laughing, studying.
Hope I will be a better and better sister for her as we get older, perhaps compensating childhood.
I have learned a lot from her. Adorable traits that she owns without any effort. I have been observing all these years, trying to acquire them and at the same time, to help her see her strengths when she feels insecure or with low confidence.
This post is for her, a girl born in Summer, a Ph.D. student! She has earned all she has achieved by her own efforts and perseverance and that´s priceless.
